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Tag Archives: oneliners
Funny Flight Attendant Announcement
Please decide what you will be doing before you enter the lavatory, as once you enter there is no turning around.
A friend is someone who goes around saying nice things about you behind your back.
Money isn’t everything but it sure does help keep you in touch with your children!
- You know you’re old when you take a nap to get ready for bed.
- You know you’re old when your head makes dates your body can’t keep.
- You know you’re old when you use valet parking to avoid losing your car.
- You know you’re old if your walker has an airbag.
- The problem with getting old is that there’s just no future in it.
- A nice thing about aging and losing your memory is you meet new friends every day.
- A nice thing about aging is you can hide your own Easter eggs.
- A nice thing about aging is there’s no such thing as a joke you’ve already heard.
- A nice thing about aging is it’s already a great day when you wake up and nothing hurts.
- A nice thing about aging is when you lose your glasses they’re usually close by, like on your forehead.
As we grow older our bodies get smaller yet our stories stretch longer and longer!
Teens are at an awkward stage in their lives. They know how to make phone calls they just don’t know how to end them.
Marriage is like a middle of the night phone call. You get a ring and then you wake up.